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Porn Is a Crucial Part of My Relationship 5/25/2017
I love porn. I'm not embarrassed to say it. I'm
not picky about where I watch it. Sometimes I watch it in
bed while my boyfriend's at home. Other times I watch
it on our couch when I need a break from my three jobs and he
is still at work. And my taste runs the gamut, though I tend
to veer towards watching public sex and threesomes.
Oh, and maybe you caught this: I have a boyfriend. ...
1 Comments, 69 Views,
17 Votes
,4.12 Score
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oldie but goodie 4/28/2017
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over
a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger.
A few seconds later, a Genie popped out of the lamp, An angry
Genie, because the man had kicked his lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked
me, I shall still give you three wishes as your reward for
releasing me. However, because of what you did, I ...
4 Comments, 106 Views,
19 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Haaaaachu....!!!! 4/20/2017
A woman constantly keeps sneezing and goes to see the doctor.
She tells him, "Doctor, I constantly keep sneezing,
and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The doctor
asks, "What are you doing for it?" The woman
replies, "Sniffing pepper."
5 Comments, 90 Views,
28 Votes
,4.78 Score
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Lessor of two evils 3/28/2017
"So let me get this straight, " the prosecutor
says to the defendant, "you came home from work early
and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct, " says the defendant.
"At which time, " continues the prosecutor,
"you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing
her." "That's correct, " says the defendant.
"Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your
wife and the man ...
0 Comments, 229 Views,
24 Votes
,4.95 Score
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false advertisment 3/28/2017
so awhile back i met a lady on AdultFriendFinder and what caught my attention
was that she said she loved to work out, but more importantly
(at least for me lol) she loved giving head. so after a few
weeks of getting to know each other, we were chatting one
friday night. she had a date that was running late or maybe
just blowing her off. i was home bored and jokely said if
you need some replacement dick, i'm ...
3 Comments, 228 Views,
21 Votes
,4.12 Score
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Dead Roses! 3/28/2017
On my fifth wedding anniversary i decided to get my wife
a dozen red roses, they looked a little wilted and thought
that they just needed some water and some miracle grow for
flowers. I bought the roses thinking that i could bring
them back to life somehow. When i got home if put them in vase
with some water and miracle grow. An hour had passed and
they looked a little bit better but still looked ...
2 Comments, 91 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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For Fun 3/28/2017
A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will
make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by
the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought
for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for
$2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even
have enough time to undressed himself." So she ...
3 Comments, 244 Views,
20 Votes
,4.53 Score
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Listen up 3/28/2017
I was talking to my ex one day after sex and asked who is the
best lover you ever had ? I was feeling pretty sure she was
going to say me after the fancy fuck I just gave her but no
. Yap yap yap she went on and on . I kind of stoped listening
until I heard . And in the shower Rose said you might as well
wash my back and ass a deal is a deal . What ? What deal ? I asked
. Rose my second roommate ...
2 Comments, 304 Views,
15 Votes
,2.52 Score
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gossipers!!! 3/28/2017
Mildred, the church gossiper and self-appointed monitor
of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into
other people's business. Several members did not
approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared
her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused a new member,
Henry, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup
parked in front of ...
3 Comments, 244 Views,
39 Votes
,6.82 Score
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Karma 3/28/2017
Two former female neighbors met in the Afterlife, after
both suffering untimely deaths. Being surprised to see each other, they asked how they me
their fates. One woman said she froze to death. "Oh, my goodness!" the other replied, "that's
terrible" "Well; not SO bad" the other replied, "After
a while the cold went away, and I drifted off into a warm sleep"
The second woman said she died of a ...
3 Comments, 236 Views,
26 Votes
,5.40 Score
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paying for services 3/28/2017
When is cheating on your partener, if you go get a massage
with a happy ending is that cheating, if you pay for a service
is that cheating, women are offering all kinds of services
to men.
It does not mean you don't love your girl or wife!!
2 Comments, 32 Views,
13 Votes
,1.80 Score
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Tires made of pussy 3/28/2017
We were having a discussion at the bar one afternoon. This
girl said, "If tires were made of pussy they would
never wear out!". I told her that it wouldn't
work. The whole world would then smell like fish!!
3 Comments, 56 Views,
16 Votes
,3.27 Score
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Doing the laundry 3/14/2017
When our were little (2&4) we would say "doing
the laundry" as another phrase for having sex.
One day we were having a small dispute which left me upset.
I went & set down on the couch as my 4 yr old came up to me
to ask what was wrong. I did not want her to know we were fighting
so I told her that daddy & I were talking about doing
the laundry, however our washing machine had quit ...
1 Comments, 824 Views,
66 Votes
,7.19 Score
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Always use condoms? 3/4/2017
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
3 Comments, 46 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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I am ready 3/4/2017
Was told that the other night- was excited. But the only
thing i was ready for- was to sleep... Age...
6 Comments, 45 Views,
15 Votes
,3.28 Score
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the Farmer and His Wife 2/21/2017
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her
grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk
out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her
pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here
we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles, grabs
his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could
get rid of your brother
1 Comments, 220 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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.zdfgjkldfklhb 1/16/2017
respect is the most important value in the relationship
1 Comments, 15 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
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Look how sexy my wife is... 12/15/2016
...That is all.
-Sexxxcrzd(m)
14 Comments, 174 Views,
26 Votes
,5.61 Score
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Why do people always say things that arent? 9/2/2016
Why do girls always say they dont want anything serious,
then all of a sudden they want something serious? Why not just be straight up?
4 Comments, 37 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score
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Always use condoms? 8/6/2016
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
1 Comments, 88 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score
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The Fickle Times We Live In..... 7/17/2016
"Nevermind what's being said to you! Then maybe
you could learn to fuck better!"
That's what I said to her as I came in her mouth after,
a less than par blowjob.....
"Didn't you learn anything from those porn flicks
that you keep in your closet?!!"
I had asked her that before, and she hates it every time.
She then says to me, that, she thought I loved her, and she ...
1 Comments, 96 Views,
13 Votes
,0.46 Score
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Lost condom ?? 5/6/2016
Would some of you like to share your humorous moments with
you lover. I will share on of mine, we had lots of fun and some
good sex, we were using a condom of course. After playtime
we were looking for the condom to put it in the garbage, well
we took apart the bed, looked under the bed, on the floor...could
not find it, so we thought we should look and see what had
turned out on the ...
6 Comments, 457 Views,
25 Votes
,5.90 Score
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Having sex with The King! Thank you.. Thank you very much... 4/8/2016
I have always found ways to make a girl bust up laughing;
while we have sex.. Creative singing is one them.. I have a knack for turning something innocent; into something
naughty..... For instance.. I heard an Elvis song while driving to a date.
Latter when we were ready for a romp, I sang my dirty version.
It went like this: Are you lonesome tonight?... ...
2 Comments, 94 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
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Understanding Men 1/8/2016
"IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making
it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH, " "SURE, HONEY, " OR "YES,
DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I ...
2 Comments, 42 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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its funny now not s much then 12/6/2015
nikki an myself was in bed and she says she has to pee.okay
I thought get up and go like any sane person would do.well
she for some reason got the idea to act like she was a and
omg she pissed on me!!and I don't mean just a lil I mean
straight full blast peed lol then says she was marking what
belongs to her lol I couldn't be mad after that bc it
was so funny and sweet at the same time yet she ...
4 Comments, 98 Views,
21 Votes
,2.14 Score
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Fun Facts about the Great Vagina 11/19/2015
Fun Facts about the Great Vagina
7 Comments, 262 Views,
26 Votes
,7.02 Score
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ANOTHER POEM FOR THE MAG -= SAD, FUNNY & LAME 10/29/2015
LAMO
We met in a chat room General conversation Things get hot & heavy She is coming over for sex. ‘Can’t see you till after work Be there by 8 AM my dear.’
She had sent a photo From the neck to her waist To whet my appetite I guess She was lovely, bare big breasted.
Troubled sleep – toss & turn Big Yoda is throbbing My mind is in a whirl Putting a face & name ...
2 Comments, 76 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Hard Liquor... 9/1/2015
Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing
the boyfriends they’ve had in the last year. One girl
says "The last 3 boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve named
after soda pops. The first one i called 7up, because he had
7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. The second one i called
mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what
to do. The third i called Jack Daniels." ...
8 Comments, 279 Views,
25 Votes
,6.67 Score
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The Successful 8/3/2015
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them went to the 1st tee while the other went to to
the club house to pay the bill. The three men started bragging
on their sons. The first man said "My is a successful home builder.
He's so successful that he gave a friend a new home for
free. The second man said "My is such a good car salesman
that he know owns a multi-line dealership. And because ...
4 Comments, 229 Views,
17 Votes
,5.67 Score
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A Realization After Sex 3/22/2015
So the encounter began as hot and passionate as ever! She
started unbuttoning my shirt, but had to raise her arms
so I could throw HER shirt off! She must have thought, forget
the buttons, and tried to pull mine over my head too!
We were tearing each other's clothes off like they
were on fire!
She went for my belt, I went for her bra, and after struggling
like I was trying to ...
3 Comments, 231 Views,
18 Votes
,3.26 Score
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