Is being 'stood up' the new normal?  

electrastorm69 38F  
713 posts
8/22/2019 8:18 am
Is being 'stood up' the new normal?

Has common courtesy gone out the window and should we lower our standards, keeping in tune with the new normal? How many of you have faced some level of being 'stood-up' on this site?
Made plans for 1st meet then got ghosted
Confirm plans for 1st meet then got cancelled last minute
Showed up for 1st meet and got 'stood up'
Multiple cancellations or postponement of plans to meet
States they want to hook-up but no follow through (including elaborate stories & excuses)
Had 1st meet-up, everything seemed 'fine' then you got ghosted

electrastorm69 38F  
142 posts
8/22/2019 8:22 am

Please comment on your experiences - have had several instances where you follow-up to confirm and the person acts like they have amnesia or cancels last minute

younger4mepls 73M
2 posts
8/22/2019 8:24 am

nice always wanted to be strapped in

1quietguy35404 70M
238 posts
8/22/2019 8:29 am

I have tried to meet others on here . When I came time to meet they disappeared. Only met 2 on here in 3 yaers

seems6666 48F  
2598 posts
8/22/2019 8:33 am

I've never been stood up, but been ghosted a few times.. very annoying, when you think you got on well...etc etc

Desir4Fire 44M
1896 posts
8/22/2019 8:43 am

I have had just as many successful meets as I have had no-shows.
I myself only canceled one meet at the last minute (unavoidable).
It is all depended on time, moments and the parties involved.

greeneyedgrlinsc 51F  
2 posts
8/22/2019 8:44 am

Have had several where we've exchanged numbers, texted for a bit, talked about meeting and then they just stop responding to messages with no explanation. Had one person that I talked to for weeks while he was out of town working and we planned to meet when he got back to town. He texted the morning he was on his way home, texted when he stopped for gas and then i didn't hear anything else from him and still haven't heard anything else since. Its very irritating.

LordMandrakeJB 63M  
375 posts
8/22/2019 8:44 am

I've been stood up or ghosted so many times, I'm actually surprised when they do show up to a meeting. Sorry state of affairs... But on a brighter note, either way I have a nice night out. Stay positive, my friends.

Mikemike107015 48M  
103 posts
8/22/2019 8:45 am

Last minute cancellations seem quite routine. Personally I make it a point to show up on time at arranged meeting place after a confirmation. I have been told many times by others how much they appreciate that.

redrockrascal 61M
20312 posts
8/22/2019 8:46 am

Haven't been stood up. But based on others experiences I handle making a date differently than those who complain. I set a date by talking (NOT text etc) on the phone and verifying the sincerity of the woman I am talking to. When asked most people who have complained don't talk (mostly text etc) - that is a significantly different thing.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Pleasepegmee 24M
5 posts
8/22/2019 8:55 am

I get ghosted a lot. It’s honestly not a huge deal. I’d rather someone no show if they’re not totally interested in the things I wanna do

Halal_Pork 45M
421 posts
8/22/2019 9:29 am

My experiences have all been a desire to meet/hook up with no follow through and a plethora of excuses to go with it all.

Kramboslicer 39M
11 posts
8/22/2019 9:40 am

Same. All talk, no action...

Kramboslicer 39M
11 posts
8/22/2019 9:41 am

Absolutely despise someone disappearing after setting, confirming and then not showing

AnewWoman 60F  
56 posts
8/22/2019 9:42 am

I've been on this site for 8 years, met my share of decent men and have never been stood up. I credit taking weeks getting to know the person online and seeking ongoing friends with benefits type relationships over quick hookup meets.

Just another day in paradise living my dream
Standard members should be able to view my profile and message me.

Robinsnestisbest 47F  
31 posts
8/22/2019 9:47 am

More times than I can count sadly to all scenarios above.

Ndsomefun2018 50M
138 posts
8/22/2019 10:18 am

Same, u start texting and messaging, and then the other person stop, I have met some ladies. Green eye, friend me so we can chat

Enygma2007 38M
66 posts
8/22/2019 10:27 am

All the time

FresnoWoman 48F
517 posts
8/22/2019 10:48 am

Everything except 1 and 5 have happened to me. I find it best to apply a one-strike policy to these rude people.

Heathen_G 60M
6739 posts
8/22/2019 11:24 am

Has common courtesy gone out the window ... No.

But "Common" interaction has gone out the window. Finding someone on the internet, and going to meet them , for some people, can be unnerving.

should we lower our standards, ... What were your standards to begin with?

How many of you have faced some level of being 'stood-up' on this site? ... No big deal. That happens. Expect it, or don't play on dating sites.

Getting stood up by people whom you have interacted with in real life [not on the internet] is a far worse "Standup" than meeting with a stranger.

Complain about that one.

Granny872 67F  
1358 posts
8/22/2019 1:37 pm

Have been stood up or cancelled on multiple times. I suspect it's because they were rash in setting up the 'date' then had misgivings later and were too cowardly to meet in person. The last minute cancellations are the most annoying.

Ghosting? PPfffttttt ... there are so many flakes and players and posers out there that ghosting is almost the norm.

I agree with Fresno in applying the "one-strike policy," and I don't think twice about it.

There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. ~~ Audrey Hepburn

Paulxx001 62M  
10675 posts
8/22/2019 1:56 pm

Haven't been stood up...
Unfortunately... I kinda changed plans on someone here... (unavoidable) and THEY perceived it as - being stood up.
Oh well... 😊 👍

Words are like meatloaf- they can be sculpted into any shape you choose.
I wrote, a one word blog.How Short Can It Be And Still

PooCsuka 51M
30 posts
8/22/2019 3:27 pm

I have been ghosted a few times and I have made sudden change of meeting arrangements but I try to always follow through, even if it's at a later date.

myexample 31M  
95 posts
8/22/2019 5:05 pm

i would have to say its between 1 and 5 where u plan and just loose contact with the person or they wanna try new thing they wanna meet ppl wanna have fun but nothing can make them do a real meet, once ppl serious the meet happens

BiggLala 47F  
26691 posts
8/22/2019 6:23 pm

I've never been stood up, which to me means I showed up but he didn't. That said, I've had other types of flaky-esq experiences in all the other options you listed where they flaked/ghosted *beforehand* or after the first meet.

It happens. I quit concerning myself with it. Sure, it's frustrating, but I remind myself I'm better off without that person. The flakiness will only get worse.

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RustyDick72 47M
37 posts
8/22/2019 11:33 pm

Well, so far i had not experience any "ghosted out"/stood up"....for the first meet up.
If my first meet up is good and there are chemistry, of cos there will be followed up or a more detailed 2nd meet up & etc.....if it is no good, then just be Text friends.

proteus_2a 53M
7614 posts
8/23/2019 12:46 am

Sadly very few of this amazing site's clientelle is based around here my lady ...

That being said, an occasional meeting with a foreign lady visiting for vacations is pretty much the alternative

I can't say I've been stood up very often,but then again it required quite a bit of interaction or trust to cultivate that relationship

And generally the geist is: It's the internet - what could you expect ?

Cheers - P

rancheroman66 59M  
47 posts
8/23/2019 7:13 am

It happens all the time!!!

SofiaMc 33F  
55 posts
8/25/2019 9:58 am

*voted #3

I got stood up once. By a guy I really wanted to fuck. Hahaha!

The thing is, I got a feeling he would be a no-show, but I went ahead anyway on the day of the meet up. He didnt acknowledge my texts on the day, although he confirmed the meet up 2 days prior when I texted.

I didn't make a big deal out of it because I know I have to experience something like this at least once.

And I didn't block him here because I wanted him to see what he missed out on. happyf;

He sent me a few IMs thereafter, which I ignored. It was hard because I wanted to fuck him so bad. Hahaha

But I managed. I also saw him viewing my profile several times over the months that followed.

Recently, I replied to his IM and asked about the incident. He claimed he sent out an apology text saying work had him flying off on the eleventh hour.

*rolls eyes.

I said I didn't receive it, and left it at that. Didn't resume our chat. Coz I'm sure he knows what he did.

But I still wanna fuck him.

MoreAgainPlease 59M
24 posts
8/25/2019 2:47 pm

Yes it's happen. Frustrating, but I just move on.

avidwvhunter 76M  
33 posts
8/26/2019 5:03 am

The problem with this poll is it only allows one choice. Unfortunately over my years on AdultFriendFinder I have experienced all of the choices.

docotis53 66M
224 posts
8/26/2019 8:22 am

I've had it with people who say let's meet and then never show up

cactusjackoff69 35M
16 posts
8/26/2019 11:05 am

I've been ghosted before even when it seemed to be going pretty well.

luvthatpzzy 57M
20 posts
8/26/2019 5:12 pm

My experience has been multiple making of plans to meet or hookup and being either ghosted or cancelled. I don't know what is wrong with people actually doing what they say they are going to. In many of the cases I believe them to be fake profiles or scammers.

inckubus 41M
236 posts
8/31/2019 2:41 pm

I have been at the receiving end of multiple of these tactics. A choose one vote doesn't do it justice For my part, I try my best to be open and direct, though there was one instance I chose to "ghost" as the person said several racist and ignorant things during the meetup.

needsumluvn54 61M
47 posts
9/3/2019 9:19 am

I haven't met anyone on's so frustrating!!

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