Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

D/s and the neurotic culture of consent  

Pleasurabull306 39M
13 posts
9/20/2019 10:58 am
D/s and the neurotic culture of consent



Hello again,

As many of you probably know now, I am a Dominant. More precisely, I am an experienced Dominant – i.e.: I have had submissives before. I have participated in D/s scenes, and D/s lifestyles. Frankly speaking, I do not think I could do “Vanilla” relationships any more. Some degree of D/s needs to be involved in all of my relationships. And why? Well, one of the biggest reasons is this: consent.

One of the things I really like about D/s is how Dominants and submissives deal with the issue of consent. A D/s relationship - whether for a scene, or for a lifestyle - always starts with a discussion concerning consent: likes and dislikes, hard and soft limits, etc. Right from the start, Dominants and submissives are open and honest with each other about what they want, and what they do not want. They make plans, and set up agreements – i.e.: contracts, etc. They get consent out of the way. Thus, when it comes to D/s , they are free express themselves; they are free be passionate. And really is one of the best parts of D/s. The passion.

I like the fact I can just walk up to my submissive and smack her ass. I like the fact I can push her up against a wall, slip hand under her dress, and “Grab her the pussy.” I can push her down to her knees, grab hold of her hair, and shove my cock into her mouth. I have never once had a submissive complain about being treated in that way – treated like she was DESIRED. I like knowing I have the freedom to be a sexual being, to express myself; to be passionate. And why? Because we had gotten consent out of the way. Consent was never a problem.

A D/s relationship shouldn’t be necessary for passion, but – our day and age – it practically is. The issue of consent in our society has turned into some sort of mania, and is producing a neurotic culture of consent – a culture is literally killing passion. Men’s sexuality – and, in an indirect way, also women’s sexuality (being DESIRED) – has come under fire. In this culture, men are no longer free to express themselves; men are no longer free to be passionate. Men are no longer free to show they DESIRE. The mantra of the day has become, “Consent!” And men are expected to be constantly wringing their hands about it. It is no longer enough the woman has spread her legs for you and is literally begging for your cock, but you must also be a mind reader as well on the off-chance she’s “Really not into it.” It is no longer enough she has allowed you to slip your cock inside her pussy, but you must also be constantly asking about her consent with each and every thrust. Worse still, it has apparently become acceptable for women to revoke consent after the fact. How can men be free, expressive, and passionate – how can they DESIRE – when they must constantly worry about consent? And if men cannot DESIRE, then how can women feel DESIRED?

I must admit I find it somewhat ironic: the cultural radicals, who had been trying to do “Just so much for women”, have done little more than to push them – willingly – into chains. For this is where they must be, apparently, if they wish to feel DESIRED: feel the fiery heat of a man’s unbridled passion. D/s is the only safe haven for men’s sexuality in our day. Then, it is no wonder how it grows in popularity. Then, it is no wonder how so many women – seeking to feel DESIRED, seeking for the passion they are missing – are becoming submissives. Men and women need each other. They always have needed each other. Like two parts make a whole. Social, political, and psychological theorizing is getting in the way of what is entirely natural: passion.

My two cents for today,

Feel free to comment. I’d love to hear what you think.

Cheers,

Pleasurabull


Pleasurabull306 39M

9/20/2019 11:59 am

Honestly, I cannot believe that I just had to edit my post. I cannot believe it. Between a barely functioning joke of an IM and now this... a site that can't even post a blog article without dropping MULTIPLE words, it is a real wonder that this place can stay afloat at all. This... this is the reason why I refuse to pay for a gold membership. What do I get out of it? To use barely functioning services?

Also, my blog picture was removed for some reason. Probably because it was violating the draconian photo policy, am I right? What... I'm not allowed to post a picture of a collar and leash? It was certainly fitting, given the content of my blog post here.

Apologies for the rant, but - as a writer - I really do get annoyed when my work gets butchered. It take pride in my work. I make serious efforts to communicate clearly and concisely. The least I expect is that when I post a TEXT-BASED ARTICLE that it is posted without the inclusion of all manner of stupid errors.

*Drops mic*


Pleasurabull306 replies on 9/20/2019 12:01 pm:
*I - not it

TicklePlease 56F  
13851 posts
9/20/2019 7:22 pm

Hyperbole much? Consent is part of any relationship and while the whole idea of being able to grab your sub by the pussy any time you want is great, it's not unheard of for a non-dom-identifying man to treat his non-sub-identifying partner that way from time to time and have her enjoy it either. I think the key is the fluidity of consent in a regular relationship that's not there in the pre-defined roles of dom/sub. Or maybe it's just a lack of communication skills. Either way, just do what works for you.

Oh, don't take the picture removal and blog editing personally, it doesn't reflect on you in any way. It's a global blog glitch.


Become a member to create a blog